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“In life, you have to take the pace that love goes. You don’t force it. You just don’t force love, you don’t force falling in love, you don’t force being in love – you just become. I don’t know how to say that in English, but you just feel it.”- Juan Pablo Galavis

Apart from the subconscious realization of the sun going down 4 times, I had lost all sense of time. It was as if the world outside of the two of us had ceased to exist. Some quick mental math- as I said my goodbye- told me that 83 hours had elapsed since we first met each other in person. From kissing within 2 seconds of laying eyes on her to laying on the banks of a stream in a warm embrace with her head on my thumping heart, Faye was everything I’d hoped for and so much more. As she waved goodbye, I could tell from the twinkle in her beautiful emerald green eyes that she had found a home in me too. I'm getting ahead of myself. Let me back up a bit.

We had been texting each other to a borderline obnoxious regularity for 2 days by now and finally decided to meet up at a cafe for breakfast. Being my usual nervous self who couldn't handle the excitement, I got there 15 minutes before the scheduled time. My heart was pounding in my chest every single time I looked at her photos. I wanted some time for myself to calm down so that I don't make a mess of myself when she hopefully walked into that cafe. I was mentally occupied- running 200 first conversation scenarios with her in my head- for a full 10 minutes when I noticed her shouting at a guy who wasn't letting her turn left into the cafe parking lot through the tainted window in front of me. "Moment of truth", I said to myself. It's now or never. I sat there at the table for another 5 minutes to give her time to park her car.

Once she walked into the cafe through the back entrance, my heart started pounding again. She was even more beautiful than any of her pictures. My body- refusing to be in my control- stood up and my legs carried me towards the back door she had entered through. Her effortlessly coiffed brown hair was overshadowed by the smile which reflected her genuine happiness on seeing me for the first time. I found myself walking towards her while I started making a sound that sounded like a Hi but that was cut short with me kissing her within 2 seconds of seeing her for the first time. It was as if my lips were searching for the opposite pole like a magnet. Little did I know that this was going to be a recurring theme. We sat down and started talking, trying to do a "normal" date and have a conversation. Although her kindness, ambitions and brilliant mind came out during the conversation, we both knew in our hearts that nothing about what we felt when we were together was normal. This was not something that happened too often and I imagined in my head the hypothesis that I was in love with her already, even though I couldn't reason why. All I've ever wanted to do was make at least one person happier because of my actions each day. And now all I wanted was to make her as happy as I could every single day.

“I was half in love with her by the time we sat down. That’s the thing about girls. Every time they do something pretty, even if they’re not much to look at, or even if they’re sort of stupid, you fall half in love with them, and then you never know where the hell you are.”- J.D Salinger

By the end of the breakfast, we had both decided that we didn't want it to end. So we decided to spend the weekend together back at Emily's place where she was staying. The outside world had ceased to exist for both of us by this point. Sustenance(or food as us mortals call it) was the only time we had to get some sort of modicum to not starve the flesh covered skeletons we were inhibiting. The hypothesis was gaining more momentum with every second we spent in each other's company. Once we reached Emily's place, we broke through almost all of the relationship milestones- sharing the silence comfortably together, being playful and vulnerable at the same time, committing every single inch of each other's body and personality to memory, even being comfortable farting in front of each other.

Some few hours after the sun first went down since we met, we decided to go by the stream that lined the eastern border of Emily's place. I do not know how long we laid there with our bare feet being caressed by the clear blue water while her warm body was busy squeezing mine in a tight embrace. Being with her was like that moment we were sharing- taking a vacation in a valley of trees with a stream of azure water flowing by the side of her beautiful body in my arms. I could feel her peaceful breath through my thumping heart that was hers by now. Every single time I looked at her beautiful green eyes, the short brown hair and that enchanting smile on her face, I was reminded of mother nature and specifically Tree Trunks.

I might not have time to write any more blogs because I might be too busy trying to participate. I know we're all stories in the end but at that moment, I wasn't a sad story anymore. I was there and I was looking at her. And she was so beautiful. And at that moment, I swear we were infinite. Somewhere along the way in my quest to make someone else happy for as much time as I could, I found happiness within me and fell in love with everything in that moment of infinite. I wasn't worried about screwing it all up by confessing my feelings for her. I drew further courage from Mr. Rogers. 

“Everyone longs to be loved. And the greatest thing we can do is to let people know that they are loved and capable of loving.”- Mr. Rogers

There was no doubt in my mind that I was in love with her. I didn't want to let another moment pass without letting Faye know that I loved her unconditionally. That's the thing about unrequited love- you don't love someone because they're in love with you too, you just love them for the person they are without expecting anything in return. And once I broke the silence, she confessed her feelings for me too. Life sure does have a way of surprising you- falling in love over a 5-day date would never have crossed my wildest imagination. But then again unrequited love for each other was the only possible explanation to the surreal experience we've been having ever since we started spending time together.

For us, love wasn't about beauty or some checklist about your significant other that humans usually strike off when courting one another. Our love was rooted in the kindness that we saw in each other, the respect we had for each other, and our mutual compassion for the world around us and the humans within it.  For us, love was never about a race to be the first man/ woman/ non-binary person you liked. It was not about claiming possession over someone and holding it all over them to break it all off the second they made a stupid mistake. All of that was inconsequential compared to the home that we were able to build together and the conviction that you could come back to it anytime and find love all over again. I could be my unapologetic true self anywhere in the world and still come back to her at the end of the day to find a welcoming home that I could be blissfully happy in. As we spend more time together, I saw that love being recognized by strangers we had never crossed paths with before- like the photographer at the Pittsburgh Symphony Orchestra who captured a perfect moment of us together as the young couple in love, the cashier at Target who asked us how long we'd been married and so on. Even her cats were jealous that they now had to share her love with me. But the way I saw it, love was never finite. The more you love, the more love you have to give others.

Neil Degrasse Tyson was once asked what the most astounding fact about humans was. He replied that the atoms that make up your body and mine are traceable to the crucibles of the generation of the universe where stardust combined to create what we are today. Making us a part of this universe as much as the universe is a part of us.

And in that moment of infinite with Faye, I began to wonder about the stardust that traveled across space and 13.7 billion years in time to find the other half of the stardust that they lost in the long journey. Its journey had come to a full circle from the revolutions around each other billions of years ago. Now the collection of stardust that made Faye and I had begun to try and create a life that revolved around each other after spending 13.7 billion years apart. Even though we are all meat covered skeletons floating around in a tiny pale blue dot - that we've come to call home- in space and we live for the tiniest of seconds in the cosmic calendar, love makes us feel infinite. Love underscores our responsibility to be kind to one another and to preserve and cherish the homes we’ve ever known-whether that’s in the pale blue dot called Earth, the friends that are in our life, our family, or strangers who turn out to be the love of our lives.  I’ll always cherish and enjoy the home I built in you, my emerald green-eyed brown-haired Tree Trunks.

References:
1- Charlie's Last Letter
2- The Most Astounding Fact
3- The Pale Blue Dot